okay again...

I'm okay again. Things are so busy. I don't have time to think, feel, or breathe it seems. And eating has somehow messed up my insides, my hormoines or something, after being bulimic for a year. They've gone haywire.
I'm so glad this year is almost over. In movies, they glamourize high school. They make it seem like a nice, entertaining, and exciting place to be. But it's not, not really, it's more about panic and stress and obsession and everyone having sex and smoking pot. It's more like that.
I could be done with high school now, if I'd homeschooled or done some Montessori school. I almost wish I had, but there is no social aspect to homeschool and no Montessori middle/high schools in Helena. Or I could have skipped easy kindergarten and first grade, but as my parents tell me, they didn't want me to, I wasn't emotionally prepared. I guess they're right. If I were in college right now, I'd be an outcast, I think. I wouldn't fit in. And I hardly fit in in my own grade, so imagine how alienated I'd be if I were in college.
Matt gets home tomorrow at 10:00 p.m. I've missed him a ton. I'm going to the airport to meet him. I won't be able to hang out with him next week though because I have so much going on.