I hate forums that have karma. I especially hate that my AP English forum has karma, because those members know me as a real person. I hate the karma because I care about it so much. Way more than I should. To the point where I feel totally miserable with every point taken away. Maybe I'll just quit posting.
That's a stupid reason to quit posting, just because I don't want proof that some people don't like me or what I say. I shouldn't care. I'm so stupid to care.

Some days I feel like my life is hopeless, because I can never make a difference.

(I don't know the author or the exact text)
There was a man walking along a beach where hundreds or thousands of starfish had been flung by the surf up onto the sand. The little creatures were drying out, and if they dried out all the way they would die. The man was tossing every starfish he came upon back into the ocean, making slow progress. Anothing man walked up and asked, "Why are you even bothering? There's thousands of them! You can't possibly make a difference!" The man picked up another starfish and threw it.
"Made a difference to that one," he said.

I'm so glad I'm an optimist. I'm not sure where I'd be if I wasn't. Probably in Dante's forest of trees having the bark peeled off of me forever and ever, unable to escape. It would be a fitting hell because in life I would have committed suicide to escape the pain, and in death I would have to endure the pain immobilly forever and ever with no hope of escape.