exercise in optimism

Five reasons why today kinda sucked:
1. I only got four hours of sleep last night and the night before, so today in math I could not figure out what in the world was going on. Differential vectors were popping up all over and I didn't understand how to figure it out. I still don't entirely.
2. I signed up for another AP class, this one out of school. It's the AP technical English test (I'm in AP English lit). I'm excited to learn, but I also keep signing myself up for more and more things every day. I think I have some subconscious desire to kill myself off.
3. I had to go to a cello lesson after school. The music kept blurring; I just couldn't focus.
4. I have a lot of homework for the weekend, already too short.
5. It's really cold and I've been freezing all day.

Ten reasons why today was good:
1. I woke up this morning.
2. I went to Great Harvest after school and they gave me two free pieces of bread. I kept trying to pay for them, but they wouldn't let me. That's enough of a reason to make up for all of the bad.
3. When I put on my sweats after my cello lesson they were really warm, because they were under my electric blanket, which I forgot to shut off this morning.
4. My senior project is underway, mentor and all. I decided to heck with the genetics lab. Mrs. Van Alstine kept telling me to write the book because it's probably the last time I'll have any time to do anything for myself, because things just get busier and busier and once you have kids you might as well forget about doing things you enjoy. She was making me more and more depressed, but she drove me to the book rather than the research project. I'm writing a satirical fantasy about government corruption, ethical obligation, environmentalism, discdrimination, self-actualization, and the true meaning of heroism. I think it'll be good. I've got lots of good ideas.
5. I really liked all of the clothes I was wearing today. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it makes me feel more confident.
6. It's Friday and I get to sleep in tomorrow.
7. Somehow (must be the announcements, which we never see in AP gov because Mrs. Lynd goes over) everyone knew that I was a national merit semi-finalist, and they were all congratulating me and such. It was a little awkward, and I kept turning bright red, but it was also nice to have done something interesting that everyone noticed.
8. I didn't gain any weight even though I had ice cream for dinner wednesday and thursday night, and last night I also had cornbread and honey butter and a brownie.
9. I'm stressed out and stretched in all directions, but I'm doing alright. Even today when I was really tired and couldn't think things felt okay.
10. I get to read Harry Potter tonight!!!!