You know, it would really suck if blogger crashed.

It seems my packing habits are leaking into my homework habits. I don't really want to do my homework. I have quite a bit left, but I just don't feel like it. I feel like reading Harry Potter and listening to Mahler and Elliot Smith and lazing about on the couch. I don't really want to go read about environmental policy or the Koran.

This morning in church I had a very distinct moment of weakness. I realized that I can't just keep eating, how ridiculous! I had to start throwing up again, I had to stop eating. Why in the world did I decide to start eating?
I started planning on how to go back to it. I realized I was stupid to think I could live without the bulimia. I realized I had to go back.

I have decided since then that I'm going to try to keep going, but I've hit the wall. It's very solid, very imposing. Where do I go now? It seems as if I can only go back. I will try to forge onward, but the doubt is planted.

I hope I'm not this weak.