Europe

Ireland/England/Wales was awesome but I'm glad to be home... we had to travel for about 28 hours yesterday (and the day before???), and it was July fourth for 31 hours, and it was 3:00 p.m. three times and I was so confused. On the final one hour flight, after about 25 hours of airplanes and airports (the flight from Shannon to Dublin to Atlanta was TEN HOURS long) I decided I was very awake and wouldn't be able to sleep, but as soon as the plane took off I was totally out ontil the pilot said we were making our initial descent. Travelling disorients and confuses me so much... I never want to get on a plane again!
Castles were pretty... London was awesome. It was great and I enjoyed myself but I was also having a really hard time. I was eating a lot (it turns out I didn't gain any weight, but that's not really what matters), and I still am and it's nice and all but I feel out of control and I really want my eating disorder back. Me and some other girls on the trip got into a discussion about eating disorders (I didn't bring it up I'm not that brave), and I was talking about this year and how horrible it has been, but how I need the bulimia, and this girl (who shall remain nameless) yelled at me, "YOU ARE SO STUPID!" and slammed the door and ran out of the room into the rain (it was always raining in Ireland). Everyone else just sat there staring stupidly at each other, shocked, but I felt so good... I've needed to get yelled at like that so long, the door slammed in my face... I know I'm a selfish b*tch, but I needed to be told that. People need to stop telling me it's okay that I did what I did because it wasn't.
I've been kinda depressed lately and I'm still struggling with the eating and everything right now, but that helped so much, to be told that. I really am stupid. I'm an idiot for doing this. I think that's a first step, hearing that, admitting it, letting it be true.
I SEE MATT AT 4!!! AND SHAUNA TONIGHT!!! man I've missed my friends so much, mostly Matt and Shauna and Olivia and JoJoJoAnna. (I can see your reply if you ever read this).