Another odd day. I cooked my parents a really fancy dinner (chilled banana rice pudding with cinnamon/other flavors, pasta with caper sauce and olive oil and balsamic vinager, key lime cheese cake with ice cream a la mode, cranberry kiwi punch). I was very proud of myself; it all turned out quite perfectly. I really am okay at cooking when I bother to take the time to be patient.

I found the Chardenay though. And after the dinner when my parents were elsewhere I sat on the counter and drank half a bottle. I don't even know why. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in drinking, ever. I've been really happy lately. I was happy even as I drank it. Drinking it depressed me. I think some part of me is still really holding onto misery. Anyway, I stopped halfway through and dumped it down the drain. I was a bit horrified with myself to tell the truth. It was 14% alcohol. I can't really remember what that means. I thought it was really odd the way it burned in my stomach after I swallowed it. The vodka I drank a few years ago didn't do that. It was a nice sensation. Not worth becoming an alcoholic over though.

I was slightly drunk for a bit, but I didn't really drink enough to really effect me. If I'd drank the whole bottle it would have, and for a second I regretted it as I watched the wine go down the drain, but I'm really glad I did it. I don't want that. I really don't.

On another random note, after talking to my friends/counselor I guess that as abysmal as my PSAT scores were they were good enough to be a national merit scholarship finalist. I was in the 99th percentile, which I guess is really good. That would be nice, getting a scholarship. Even if I don't get the scholarship, being a finalist looks good.

Until they look at my math scores that is.