food

I have been eating. A lot, by my standards, about average for most people, about what my body needs to be healthy. It feels weird to me, all this food. It feels out of control, yes. But I don't need control right now. More than control I need to feel full. I'm so sick of feeling empty.
I don't want to go the opposite end and start emotionally overeating, basically the binge without the purge, but I think that food and emotions are inextricably tangled in my life, so I can only try to minimize the damage. Right now I'm doing about my best. It may not last, but for a little while, I am eating, I am healthy, I am full.

The stress is building, but I don't need to throw up etc., I don't need to cut. I just need to feel.