Life is crazy. Today I sat in front of the television, watching this cartoon Erin loves, Avatar (it is pretty sweet), reading kids' books, feeling angry angry angry, eating 94% fat-free popcorn, thinking constantly of Josh.
"Move on," my mom says, "let go."
Ha.
I wrote a poem, anyway, and I like it, the first poem I've liked in a while. It's about confusion. It's about life when it falls apart and the laws of time disintegrate and everything coexists in your mind, past, present, and future.

ADD

would you like to care?

...like to care...

FOCUS
the way your mother drinks coffee on monday mornings with tired eyes

do you want to be like that?

death is waiting in its homespun lair.........................you see it now......

there is no evasion

would you like the world to make sense?
oh, sense...
what is sense?

it is the broken leg of the spider,
so inticrately painful even though it has seven more;
greed is the phantom limb

[[you see your father in the night with his hands cupping pills]]

'let me see your tattoos' they ask
do you feel that momentary panic?
do you feel the bluejay wings scraping for an instant
at your past?

do you want to scream,

IT'S NOT A ((TATTOO))! I CUT MY WRIST!!!

oh, but you're okay, aren't you?

your mother, she talks about it

yesterday:
my daughter, she's fine, she's happy, she has good grades...

what? is there more than that to life?

your father, standing in the dark, your mother, drinking coffee...

wouldn't you like to care?