Okay, I'll admit it, I'll drop the politics. I'm terrified right now. I'm scared. I'm panicked. I'm angry. I'm lost. I don't have a word bad enough to describe my current emotional state. It's off the spectrum. There is no spectrum.
I'm fighting. You know I'm fighting.
I can't believe in people when they're away. My friends, my family... I can't remember that they are real if they are not talking to me. This is proving to be a problem. I feel so alone, because nobody seems real. I need to be told constantly that I am still loved or I won't believe it. I need to be spending time constantly with people or I can't believe in them.

This is the devastation. It has to be. I must be at the bottom of the abyss. There must be no worse place. I can't imagine much worse than this.