Trouble

Do you know what's really cool? Rediscovering books you loved when you were younger... like I am re-reading the His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman that I read in sixth grade, and the Alanna series by Tamora Pierce that I read over and over again in middle school, and the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis (of course) that I loved and treasured from the first time I read them when I was seven years old. There's something so comforting about realizing that the magic in them is still there... it doesn't go away.
On the book tangent... I discovered three half finished books (about 30,000 words each at the moment) on my laptop that I forgot I'd started writing a few years ago, and I've decided to actually make some sort of commitment to finish them.
As for music and today... Two shocking discoveries: 1. I actually like an Eminem song. I never thought I would. But I was listening to "Mockingbird," which I think is to his kids, and I liked it. 2. I LOVE "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani which is this lovely shallow song about cheerleaders and such but I can listen to it over and over again... This (whatever you want) is bananas... B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Finally, on to the real topic of this post... I went to a movie with Charlie today. I didn't kiss him. He looked like he might kiss at the end there, but I got up out of his car. I don't know if I want it yet. He did have his hand on my leg and my hand the entire movie though. I definitely encouraged it. And then after he said we should go out again next week. I like him a lot... but he isn't Josh... and I can't get too far into a commitment with him or I will find myself having to cheat on him, which I don't want to do, and I don't believe in doing in any circumstances. But I don't know what else to do. I want have a relationship with him... But I can't let go of Josh... wow.
I noticed today though that his hands on me did not alarm me in any way. Slowly, slowly, slowly I am fighting off what they did to me.