My confidence comes in dizzy spells and waves. I am totally devoid of it for weeks, and then all of a sudden it will appear unexpectedly from some abyss inside of me that has the potential to fill with self-affirming beliefs but keeps having the plug pulled. I've felt pretty confident this week. I'm finally coming out of a long depression. Apathy... I can't believe I wanted it. I'd rather be in agony every day of my life.

I gave Erin some ice cream today, which is kind of a long story, but basically she has become so important to me... she is such an amazing friend. At festival I talked to her about a lot of things, and she talked to me, and there is this definite connection between us that I need so badly, as I have drifted so far away from all of the rest of my friends. High school shoves people apart and builds motes between them. I needed someone to come along and save me from isolation.