YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY for the ACT's!!!!!

So I didn't actually do much better on the composite. I didn't achieve my goal of 34. I got a 33. But it's the subscores that are so funny and amazing and ironic, and ultimately wonderful for me.

But guess what's so funny. You know how I got an 800- a perfect score- on the critical reading in the SAT's? And I got a 33 in it on my ACT's a year ago? I got a 30 this time! That's only the 92 percentile. Bad for me. You know why? Their stupid freaking time limits!!! I so ran out of time! I was filling in random bubbles, looking at the questions, barely scanning the stories, racing to read a whole story and answer five questions in two minutes. On the first half of the reading test I got all of the questions right. On the second have, I missed five out of eighteen. Five happens to be the number of questions that I didn't have time to answer. Huh. Funny.
Oh well, I know I'm good at reading. I don't need the SAT or ACT to prove that to me. I just need the fact that I'm an anti-social book nerd and then it's obvious.

Anyway, the important scores are these: I got a 34 in math, 99th percentile, definitely high enough for any math/science school like MIT and Caltech, and I got a 32 in science, 99th percentile, also definitely high enough for MIT and Caltech and any other school in the nation. And I got the same again in English- a 35, 99th percentile. However, on the essay for the ACT I got a 12 (the one conveniently about fast food, which is what I did my history final on) and I only got an 11 on the SAT. Stupid SAT's. :-)

But here is the point of all this mumbo jumbo... those test scores? They are high enough to get into any college in the country. Any. MIT is the third hardest to get into in the country as well, I think. But my test scores are good enough for it.

Here's the real implication that I care about right now: I DON'T HAVE TO STRESS OUT ABOUT STANDARDIZED TESTS ANYMORE!!! I'M HOME FREE!!! No more nights of that sick, tight feeling in my stomach, thinking about the SAT's/ACT's, none of that. I'm taking the SAT's again in the fall in an attempt to increase my math score, but I don't have to, because my ACT's are high enough, and I think all the colleges I'm applying to take ACT's or SAT's. I don't have to obsess anymore! I don't have to worry!!!

I can't explain to you how wonderful that feeling is for someone with OCD and an anxiety disorder. No more of that horrible thinking!

I've got the GPA (unless it gets screwed up in the fall, but that's why I'll apply to MIT or Caltech for early admission, so they won't know); I've got the leadership positions in church and Key Club; I've got the involvement in debate, music, and science/biology olympiad; I've got the service, through my school and the Humane Society; I've got the notoriety with doing well on all the American Math Competition tests, biology olympiad tests, and all of my writing awards; and I have MIT and Caltech's major entrance requirement: I love to learn. *insert demonic laughter that only a high school student stressed about college can understand... go watch "The Perfect Score"...* I HAVE IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good AP test scores? I've got them. Impressing class load? I've got it. I can get in now! I thought maybe I wasn't smart enough. That's what I decided when I saw my SAT's last week. I'm not smart enough to go to MIT. But I am! I'm two years ahead of myself in math. They'll love that! Look at me, I'm unstoppable!!!

Now, unfortunately, to come down from all of this euphoria, everyone else that applies to MIT and Caltech also has all of these things. But maybe I can be one better. Maybe I really can get in. Maybe I really am smart, and just not bright compared to my school. Maybe I really am capable of achieving these high expectations I've set for myself. Maybe I'm not a failure.

After all of this, the odds are that I will still be rejected from MIT and Caltech. I know that. Everyone that applies is smart, and has these things, and only 8% are accepted. That's a hard percentage to be in. The top 8% of the 99th percentile. And I didn't get into the science summer program through that place affiliated with MIT. Even if I did get into MIT and Caltech, I doubt we could afford the tuition. I know all of that. I know that all of the odds are still against me. But for the first time ever, I HAVE A CHANCE. Even if it's tiny, I have it.

It is... possible.