quotes of people that understand things i can't explain

There is nothing like spending a day high to make you appreciate lucidity. I positively love waking up two days after I've OD'd when my mind and body are back to normal. It feels so nice just to be able to think clearly and walk without falling over (although I fall over a lot whether I'm high or not).
I've felt a little better today but I'm crazily nostalgic. Pain is so circular for me. I just can't escape. Things are shed but then I reenter the chrysalis, emerge again as a caterpillar, confused that I ever had wings. Time screeches to a halt at inconvenient moments, and begins to move backwards. Progress is lost and I am again immersed in the unsurmountable nostalgia.

"It was a kind of pretending composed of pride, of the pain of powerlessness, of need- and fear of need- and it came from caring: from caring so much that you were fearful for your own self, and how alone you were, or might someday be." -Lois Lowry.

e.e. cummings puts it best in this quote which I am sure I am not quoting word for word: down the brittle, treacherous, bright streets of memory comes my heart.

"Love is an excuse to get hurt And to hurt. 'Do you like to hurt?' 'I do! I do!' 'Then hurt me.'" -Bright Eyes (lover I don't have to love)

"Forever I shall be a stranger to myself. In psychology as in logic, there are truths, but no truth. Socrates' 'know theyself' has as much avalue as the 'be virtuous' of our confessionals. They reveal a nostalgia at the same time as an ignorance." -Albert Camus

I will write all the words of the people that can explain what I cannot. I'm so sick of bulimia. I'm so sick of looking for a meaning of life in my scared, watery reflection in the toilet. I'm scared of everything and I'm sick of it all.

e.e. cummings always can say it better than I can.

in a middle of a room (e.e. cummings)

In a middle of a room
stands a suicide
sniffing a Paper rose
smiling to a self

"somewhere it is Spring and sometimes
people are in real: imagine
somewhere real flowers, but
i can't imagine real flowers for if i

could, they would somehow
not Be real"
(so he smiles
smiling) "but i will not

everywhere be real to
you in a moment"
The is blond
with small hands

"& everything is easier
than i had guessed everything would
be; even remembering the way who
looked at whom first, anyhow dancing"

(a moon swims out of a cloud
a clock strikes midnight
a finger pulls a trigger
a bird flies into a mirror)