I can't lie anymore. Not about any of it.
Fourteen pink pills and my stomach turns and turns and will soon come up again.
Five laxatives and my stomach clenches and I double over in pain.
The real monster isn't something I can see or feel. It is the thing inside of me that wants to be anyone, anyone but me.
I have to go throw up now.
My mouth is filling with spit.
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"What I realized suddenly was that the true failure would have been if I hadn't given a damn. You can bandage a wound, set a broken bone, but not caring...you can't cure that and you can't recover from it."
"What I realized suddenly was that the true failure would have been if I hadn't given a damn. You can bandage a wound, set a broken bone, but not caring...you can't cure that and you can't recover from it."
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About Me
- Lindsay
- Everything in my life is about to change, and I'm absolutely terrified. I breathe one instant at a time.
3 comments:
I realize you and I do not really know each other, but I have grown to care for you in the short time I have been reading your blog. I have already lost someone that I love and care for deeply. I don't want to do it again. I don't want that helpless feeling again.
Don't you dare make me relive October 27, 2005 again...don't you dare.
i wouldn't... don't worry... i'm sorry... i'm not trying to hurt myself. i'm trying to get control.
i really don't like it either. i'm sick of the pills and the effects of the overdoses. i know how much of that pill it takes to harm me seriously, and i won't take that much.
and i do care about you. and i wouldn't do that.
Please hang on Lindsay, please hang on. Please let me know if I can do *anything* for you.
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