learning to deal with my mother...

I've been at all-state orchestra. I think that somehow I am a magnet for weakness and humiliating experiences. They follow me like iron shavings.
The first night I fainted in my hotel room twice, and I called my dad and told him how every time I stood up I was dizzy and couldn't walk straight, and he wasn't sure what it was, so I didn't really do anything. The rehearsals were long, and I had to drag my bass back and forth across Bozeman High School about eight times, and that thing is heavy, and I was exhausted. We were getting an okay amount of sleep, but for some reason I just couldn't get enough, I was so tired (I know now that was because I was sick).
Then yesterday things were getting worse. Everything was spinning around me every time I stood up or walked, and my stomach hurt worse than anything has hurt me in quite a long while. There were spasms going through it every few seconds. I had to walk doubled over. I didn't really want to tell anyone though, and I knew I'd be okay if I made it through the concert and went home.
Right before the concert I was waiting in line for the bathroom because I really didn't feel well, and the line was sort of long, and this lady came in front of me and started pounding on the bathroom doors but no one would let her in, and a few seconds she vomited explosively all over the floor about a foot away from me and the wall, and it stunk horribly. My stomach clenched really hard then. And so she had to go in a bathroom and then two disabled people cut in front of me so I had to stand there for ten or fifteen minutes waiting for the bathroom staring at the puke on the floor right at my feet and smelling it, feeling even more sick than I was.
Right before the concert I could barely walk or move my stomach hurt so badly. Once I finally got on stage and was sitting on my stool, nothing would stay still. The stool was a little tippy and I felt so hot and so thirsty and so sick. Everything was whirling around me like I was on a carousel. I was positive I was going to faint or throw up right in front of everyone, throw up all over my bass and the two hot guys on either side of me, or go topping off of my stool and drop my bass. I was praying really hard to make it through the concert. Our conducter talked for a long time between songs and I really didn't think I was going to make it. I kept swaying and falling halfway off my stool.
I did, thank God, make it through the concert. I just left my bass in the hallway and ran for the bathroom and had to wait in line again, but I couldn't throw up, so I went and drug my bass back to the gym and collapsed against the wall. My stomach hurt so badly I was crying. Not really hard but I felt so frustrated and alone because nobody understood how sick I was and I really, really didn't want to throw up in front of everyone but I was sure I would if I had to sit or stand but I had to keep moving because the spasms in my stomach hurt so badly. Everything is really fuzzy from here on out. I don't really remember it. I'm pretty sure I was barely conscious. I had a fever and I was SO hot. Finally I begged Siobhan to go find my orchestra teacher, and my orchestra teacher came and they paged my parents. It was so humiliating, crying there on the floor with all of these people huddling around me whom I didn't want to see me so weak, so pathetic. It was the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me in a really long time.
I managed to get out into the car. My father was sympathetic but my mom was saying I was a hypochondriac and was exaggerating and doing it for attention. She didn't seem to realize that when you're in high school you don't do something horribly embarrassing for attention. You feel like sinking into the ground and no one seeing you when something that embarrassing happens. But I am starting, slowly, to deal with the fact that she believes I'm a hypochondriac and make things up and will probably always believe that.
My parents got some McDonald's and the hamburgers just smelled so disgusting that I couldn't take it anymore. I threw up in a plastic bag I'd found in the car and kept throwing up all the way home. My mom still doesn't believe I was as sick as I was acting. I'm just really, really grateful I started throwing up when I did because if I'd thrown up an hour earlier it would have been in the middle of the concert.
This is how sick I was though: the last time I have thrown up from the flu or anything, without doing it on purpose or overdosing, was fifth grade. I have only thrown up from the flu a total of five occasions now in my life. My immune system is very good and although in ninth grade I got strep, mono, and pneuomonia all at the same time, I rarely EVER get sick. And I NEVER throw up, well, almost never, because no matter how sick I feel I just don't seem to.
Last night I was in total and complete agony. I made and idiot out of myself in front of everyone. I almost lost consciousness. I threw up four times. And my mother still believes I was making it up.