So, I didn't take my meds this morning (DON'T WORRY IT WAS JUST AN EXPERIMENT) and now I remember why I hate being half-medicated. I was really depressed for the first three periods, and then all of a sudden (why can I never isolate the moment?) I was really, really, really hyper and agitated and school was suddenly really, really boring and I couldn't sit still, I really wanted to go home and get something done.
Okay, so I remain undecided on what to do. I don't want to compromise happiness or art. It sucks. (Yes, I know art doesn't have to be depressing, but being extrememly depressed is really, really conducive to good art).

Today I was so excited telling everyone I was going to MIT, and I expected resistance, people to tell me I wouldn't get in, people to be surprised with me that my test scores are actually high enough, but sadly no one was surprised at all. My math teacher, when I asked him about the SAT math 2 test, even said, "You'll like it at MIT." Not "You would like it at MIT." Will.

So I finally have a plan, for college. I don't want to go to BYU. I've worked so hard for all these years, I want it to pay off. I think maybe I'll go to MIT for undergrad and cal-tech for graduate school, or maybe the other way around.

On another tangent (oh dear that reminds me, I really need to review trig for the PSAT's next week) I have started to panic about what I will do next year when the only two people I trust in this world will be gone, and I will have no one to talk to, and I will lose the two people I value and probably love most. I've been in denial, but it's going to happen, and I don't know what I'm going to do.