height Feet Inches

Small Frame

Medium Frame

Large Frame

5' 2"

108-121

118-132

128-143

http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/met.htm

MY HEIGHT: 5'2" MY WEIGHT: 111
Now I don't know what my frame is, probably small I guess. I am currently trying to convince myself I am not fat.
On the kids' weight charts I am slightly above the 25 percentile for weight and right on it for height. I guess that means I am slightly overweight. I didn't used to be. Last year I weight 105. I've gained all this weight.

I am so frustrated about food. I doubt I will ever have a normal relationship with it. I live in a house where everyone weighs themselves at least every morning and every night, usually more often. We all discuss our weights at breakfast every morning and decide whether to skip meals or eat differently. They are constantly talking about diet and exercise and losing weight. Every meal, at least once an hour of every day... food food food, weight, weight, weight.
They say I should lose a few more pounds. I should. I feel so suffocated though. I can't handle this. I hate eating. I hate not eating. My body can't tell when it's hungry anymore. I can eat 1000 calories now without gaining weight, which I guess is a blessing and way above last year's 400. But it's still so frustrating. I'm so used to binging and purging that it's hard to quit the habit even after I'm not purging. I'll not eat much for a week and then eat a ton. I don't know what to eat. I don't know how to change.
I begged my parents to take me to a nutritionist/dietician but we don't have "enough money." I'm going crazy.

Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of how fat I am. Every time I buy clothes. Every time I eat something. I get so frustrated I don't even want a body anymore. I wish I didn't ever have to eat.