You are most likely a Democrat.
The Weekly Rebuttal's--Are you a Democrat or a Republican (a legitimate, no non-sense quiz)
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Your Political Profile |
Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal |
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
Defense and Crime: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
I am having a midlife crisis at sixteen. I am doing a lot better emotionally today (things are still bad but I think the worst is over), but I am having a major disaster in the religous/political aspect of my life.
I had never really thought a lot about projecting or solidifying my personal views until lately. I grew up in my opressive church. My parents would murder me if they ever read this entry. But it needs to be written.
So lately I've begun to realize that although there are many things I do agree with my church on there are many things I definitely do NOT agree with my church on. Without realizing it I have begun to silently rebel. I loathe the Morman/Christian-in-general views of heaven, and their conviction that they are right and everyone else is wrong. I just can't believe that. I hate the opression of organized religion, the corruption of it all. I think homosexuality is natural. I believe in gay marriage. I don't think creationism should be taught in school. I am totally against capital punishment. I don't believe there is a universal truth. If people do what they believe is right, even if it doesn't concur with my beliefs (or the doctrine I cling to), how is it wrong?
The world is defined from the inside out. My world is so different from my freinds'. There is no fact, no proof, only interpretation. Science assumes there is no higher power, religion assumes there is. In the end, both are only assumptions.
I believe in God. I will fight abortion until the day I die. I believe my relgion promotes a godo way of life. I believe it has given me purpose. I have a hard time agreeing with its judgemental nature. I have a hard time accepting corruption. God is perfect. Institutions never are and never will be.
How can I doubt? I will die and be damned for this. But how can I accept something that I instinctively reject? There is nothing to believe in. There is only guilt. How, after years of totally accepting Mormanism, can I begin to question the foundation that kept me alive?
I want to believe it. I will pray, go to church, read the scriptures over and over again, see what happens. But I am not sure anymore. I am so far from sure.
2 comments:
Sometimes those who grow up in religiously intense environments believe that faith must either be constructed in the way the environment constructs it or must be discarded. There is, of course, another way. Constructing a faith of our own. There's a famous definition of theology as "Faith seeking understanding." I pray you keep on seeking.
God can be someone personal...someone you know and talk to.
Most churches talk about who He is and what He's about, but they never introduce you to Him.
Question everything...find out for yourself, but don't ever give up...that's the worst thing you can do.
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