Well I was forced to see my counselor today by numerous people, but that's okay because I think it made me feel better too. Anyway, I didn't tell my counselor I cut or anything (legal obligations... even though she knows it would just make things worse to tell my parents), but I think that I effectively non-verbally communicated to her that I did, so I think she knows, and doesn't have to tell (because I didn't outright tell her). So she said, "Are you still feeling like cutting?"
and I said, "Yes, every second of every day."
"But..." she said.
"But I won't. Because it hurts the people around me that truly care about me when I cut and hurt myself. Never before in my life have people really expressed so much concern over me and so much love, so I have never before been really selfish by cutting. Now, cutting would be selfish. It would hurt more than just me.
There have been and always will be times in my life when I no longer care about myself and want to die. But there has never been a time, and probably never will be, when I haven't cared about and loved the people around me. And now that compassion is saving my life. As long as there are people who love me who it would seriously hurt to cut or kill myself, I cannot do it.

I am used to fighting for my life. And that is what these last few weeks have been... a perpetual battle just for the air I breathe. But for the first time ever, I wasn't the only person fighting for my life. Others were fighting for my life as well, and fighting to protect me, and fighting to give me what I need as human being. That is a first for me. That is what has made all the difference in these past few weeks.

Because when there's nothing else to live for, people live for each other, they truly do.

So I give you this oath: As long as you love me, as long as you care, I will not hurt myself before asking for your help and fighting hella hard.