I collapsed again playing the piano... I just started sobbing so loudly, and screaming, screaming how I wanted her back, she couldn't be dead... I'm still crying but I've calmed down a little... I haven't cut yet... maybe I'll make it...
Every time I get distracted or start to forget I see something that makes me remember, and it's just as horrible as this morning when my dad screamed "SHE'S DEAD!" and was sobbing and I saw her in his arms, flopped over... it feels like that moment every time... these waves of hurt... they just won't end...