Something has happened. I have curled back into myself, lost. All day at church I felt like crying, felt the tears burn, and was ashamed of them and how dirty they were, how dirty I am, how horrible for being concrete when I needed so badly to stop something.
I have disconnected. I am floating away. It is raining big drops and I am floating away again and everything is going numb and the world is white noise muffled by raindrops.